Haunting

I am sitting at Mayo Clinic waiting for my aunt to get a CT Scan. They found a large mass on her Pancreas. I am anxious and scared. This just doesn't seem right, but as I have already experienced, life can so quickly turn on a dime.

This place CREEPS me out. I have always had a phobia of hospitals. The smell alone makes me nauseous. I have this weird notion that you get sick just by being in a place like this. I sanitize my hands every few minutes and I refuse to place my purse on the floor or eat anything from the cafeteria. I have real issue with it all.

But maybe it goes a bit deeper. My mom used to work here, at this very campus. Walking these very halls brings back very strange and intense memories. I used to surprise my mom and drive up from ASU and bring her flowers or a pretty plant. Her co-workers loved me and during my senior year of college I ended up interning in Mayo's Marketing department. It was a fabulous experience, however this place is still full of ghosts that are seriously haunting me!

I guess my mind is just on over-drive. I am very worried about my aunt, I am in a reflective surreal state being at Mayo, especially coming on the heels of the 10 year anniversary of my parent's death. After the accident my sister and I had to spend time here, wrapping up their affairs. It is all so freaking eerie.

Furthermore, digesting that 10 years has passed makes me think about how much I have changed. That little girl that used to drive up from Tempe, sure isn't the same! My hopes, my dreams, my goals, my taste in everything from clothes, boys, music, etc has completely done a 180!

Life has changed tremendously in the past ten years! And I am scared it is about to change again.